Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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