omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
