I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
