ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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