...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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