i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
