And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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