I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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