Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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