We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
