Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
In America we eat man semen.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Less talking, more tequila
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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