return my video game
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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