Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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