This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
