Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
