Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
