Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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