HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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