:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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