ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
