There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize