it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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