like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
