last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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