During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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