new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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