alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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