I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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