Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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