Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
