Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
