Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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