Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
