Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
