Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
