it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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