I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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