I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My pussy is not your playground.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
only you would photoshop your dick
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
