Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
