I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
