he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
