I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
