Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
