Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
