Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
