some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize