At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
