My room smells like vodka and shame
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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