You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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