I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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