What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
