So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
