There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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