Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
