I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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