Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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