dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
