i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
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I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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