seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Drunk is a universal language darling
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize