so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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