i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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