ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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