Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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