You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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