Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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