there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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