my sisters under your porch take her home
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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