So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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