In the future we'll all be gay
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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